Dealing With Lies In A Romance

Lies In A Relationship Spell Disaster


Everyone knows that you have to be honest in a relationship. Yet knowing something and being able to do it are two entirely different things. Not only that, but some people have different thresholds for honesty and truthfulness. For example: thinking that little white lies are okay. This can be a problem, because without honesty, trust, and communication, a relationship is doomed to failure.

One of the more stereotypical situations involving dishonesty is a guy going to a strip club and telling his wife he was simply ‘out with the boys’ or some other excuse. Yet there are still plenty of minor lies which get told and they should be avoided, as well. Things such as whether or not you like your partner’s hair cut, or their clothes, or even something as simple as whether you were really working late, or if you stopped off at the store to buy some candy bars.

On the other hand, however, there are plenty of situations where not saying everything isn’t a problem. If you weren’t working late, but you hung out in the office speaking with a friend, is there really a problem in just saying you were working late? How can you tell the difference between a situation where you need complete honesty, and a situation where you’re just not bogging down the conversation with unnecessary details?

There’s a good rule of thumb to follow that will help you in such situations. That rule of thumb is ‘if you feel like you have to hide it, it’s a problem.’ Essentially, if the situation is such that you feel a need to keep it from your partner, then you should be talking about it. Perhaps the reason you’re keeping it from your partner is because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. But if that’s the case, you may need to consider why something would hurt their feelings. Likewise, maybe you don’t want to get your partner upset. But if the situation would upset your partner, it’s important to figure out why, and then deal with that upset.

Ultimately, a relationship needs trust. And when you begin lying, it means you don’t have that trust. There could be any number of reasons why you don’t have that trust. It’s entirely possible that your partner is being unreasonable. But if you can’t deal with that situation, then the relationship is just a ticking time bomb, waiting for the right moment to explode into disaster.